Nocebo Sickness Pills

Having too much fun? Need an excuse to call in sick? Want sympathy? Use these pills to induce nausea, aching, discomfort, lethargy, or general suffering. These pills are non-addictive, unless you believe otherwise.

This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Ingredients: sucrose pellets.

$9 per 1 ounce (volume) bottle

Nocebo Sloth Pills

In a hurry to procrastinate? Do you have work to do but you would rather not? Use the power of your mind to not do what needs to be done. If you feel the urge to do something useful, reach for these non-addictive pills to facilitate indolence...or don't and just think about it.

This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Ingredients: sucrose pellets.

$9 per 1 ounce (volume) bottle

Nocebo Pain Pills

Want to feel alive? Are you all too comfortable and feeling like a wimp? Use these non-addictive pills and the power of your mind to feel painfully alive.

This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Ingredients: sucrose pellets.

$9 per 1 ounce (volume) bottle

Nocebo Paranoia Pills

Why be normal? Exacerbate anxiety. Awaken to see the sheeple that is you. Notice that they are indeed laughing at you. Become aware that you are being watched...more so than usual. These pills are non-addictive, so they say.

This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Ingredients: sucrose pellets.

$9 per 1 ounce (volume) bottle

Nocebo Gloom Pills

Need help removing your rose-colored glasses? Want to escape a world of sunshine and celery stalks? Give yourself war of mind and get on track to a downward spiral into depression and hopelessness. These pills are non-addictive, sorry.

This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Ingredients: sucrose pellets.

$9 per 1 ounce (volume) bottle

Evil Salt

Feel doom with earthly salt that has been pervaded with the quintessence of wickedness.

This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Ingredients: salt mined from pits of Hell or the Andes Mountains.

$12 per 2 ounce (volume) clear bottle.

Prayer Canceller Powder as seen on prayercanceller.com.

Negate the divine effects of prayer with Prayer Canceller.

Stable and hypo-allergenic formulation. Long shelf life. No refrigeration required. Low toxicity, though intended for external use only. Effective against religious conversions in absentia. Effective against blessings.	Effective at debaptizing anyone, dead or alive. Effective against unwanted telepathy. Effective against opponents' lucky objects. Effective at preventing The Rapture from ever happening. Great for protesting government-endorsed prayer gatherings.
Ingredients: sodium bicarbonate. $12 per 2 ounce (volume) bottle.

Disharmony Orbs

Impede the flow of energies in and around you. Cause tangles of discordance between energies including Chi/Qi, Ayurvedic, Morphic, Jing, Prana, Crystal, Chakra, Chiropractic, Reiki, Feng Shui, Pleadian, and Quantum. Disharmony Orbs with their detrimentally-spaced concave circles are untuned to cause suboptimal laminar flow, and induce a nefarious presence.

$9 per golf-ball-sized orb.

binding black (actually kind of dark gray) impeding orange encumbering pink retarding red blockading blue thwarting green obstructive purple derailing gold mired burgundy

Homeopops/Homeopsicles as seen on homeopops.com or homeopsicles.com.

Homeopops, also known as Homeopsicles, celebrate the principles of homeopathy by delivering the same level of flavor as the effectiveness of homeopathic medicine. They come in a cornucopia of colors representing any flavor you can imagine. Yum!

$5 per 4 dozen assorted wooden sticks.

You should not use the information on this Nocebo Mart site for diagnosis or treatment of any health problem or for prescription of any medication or other treatment. You should consult with a healthcare professional for all health related questions. For medical emergency call 911.